When you're gone
by bellaandedwardaddict
Summary: Songfic in Nymphadora's point of view. Nymphadora's thoughts during half blood prince. Remus appearance at the end.


**When you're gone **

**Hey characters belong to the fabulous J.K. Rowling.**

I sat on my small sofa and cried. I never usually cried this much. It had been four months since Sirius had died. It had been four months since I told Remus I loved him. It had been four months since he told me that he loved me to and it had been four months since he told me we couldn't be together.

_I always needed time on my own  
>I never thought I'd need you there when I cry<br>And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
>And the bed where you lie is made up on your side<em>

Since that day I hadn't been able to morph, my hair had returned to its boring brown and my eyes were black; just like Sirius's.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<br>_

I missed Remus so much. My heart felt so heavy and it hurt, so much. I had only seen members of the order at meetings; but not him. He was with a pack of werewolves. He was on a suicide mission. I cried harder at that last thought.

_When you're gone  
>the pieces of my heart are missing you<br>when you're gone  
>the face I came to know is missing too<em>

I longed to see him walk through the doors of number 12 grimmauld place to see his face and to know he was okay, but I knew he wouldn't come. I sat through order meetings not really listening. I could see Molly and the other members looking at me sympathetically.

_When you're gone  
>the words I need to hear to always get me through<br>the day and make it ok  
>I miss you.<em>

I missed his calm voice, the way he could make me feel with just a few little words. I missed going on missions together.

I didn't care that he was quite a few years older then me; I knew people with largerage gaps between them.

I didn't care if he was a werewolf. I didn't care that once a month he was dangerous.

I didn't care that he didn't have that much money.

I loved him for him.

_I've never felt this way before  
>everything that I do reminds me of you<br>and the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
>and they smell just like you, I love the things that you do<br>_

I missed the way he smiled when Sirius and I would do something stupid. But that would never happen again, Sirius was dead, gone just like Remus. I made my way to my bed, tears still streaming down my face. Two of the most important people in my life were gone.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<em>

_When you're gone  
>the pieces of my heart are missing you<br>when you're gone  
>the face I came to know is missing too<em>

When I did finally fall into a sleep in was restless, full of dreams, nightmares. I dreamed of times that have long since passed. I dreamed of the good times and the bad. Every night since he left I dreamed of Bellatrix. I couldn't get away from her, she wanted to hurt me. I never felt safe anymore; my comfort blanket was gone.

_When you're gone  
>the words I need to hear to always get me through<br>the day and make it ok  
>I miss you.<em>

It was the last order meeting for the year, it was one week until Christmas and everyone was in high spirits; everyone but me. It was that day that he came. He walked into the kitchen, Dumbledore next to him, I gasped slightly at what I saw. He was skinnier then before and there were more scars on his face. He looked hollow and empty; just like me.

_We were made for each other  
>out here forever<br>I know we were, yeah_

He looked over at me but said nothing. He took a seat at the opposite side of the table. My broken heart shattered. Dumbledore started the meeting but I hardly listened. I stared at the table but not really seeing it.

_And all I ever wanted was for you to know  
>everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul<br>I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

It was when Dumbledore mentioned the cursed necklace Snape spoke up.

''So much for the auror's doing their job'' he snarled at me.

''There are only four of us guarding an entire village, what you're students do has nothing to do with us, we're there to protect the village and it's occupants. It's not our fault you can't keep control of you're students'' I snapped. Everyone was looking between us.

''You're looking quite ill _Nymphadora_ are you sure you're fit for your auror duties'' he smirked.

''I am perfectly capable at doing my job'' he smiled.

''Well you're obviously as week as your patroness'' that was it.

''Well if you think you could do a better job then go ahead'' I snarled.

''What is that supposed to mean?" he snarled. I smirked.

''We'll as Professor of the dark arts I'm sure you can do a much better job at keeping the deatheaters away''

''That is enough'' Dumbledore shouted. I sat down but continued to glare at Snape.

_When you're gone  
>the pieces of my heart are missing you<br>and when you're gone  
>the face I came to know is missing too<em>

The meeting ended and I rushed to get out the door. In just a few minutes I would be home, in a few minutes I could cry. I tried to keep the tears at bay telling myself that I would be home soon and could cry all I wanted.

''Dora, Dora wait'' I heard behind me. As much as I didn't want to I stopped. He ran out the door and down the steps. He stood in front of me but I couldn't look.

''What'' I said sharply.

''How are you?" he asked lamely. I stared at him incredulously.

''How do I look to you Remus?" he didn't answer.

''You need to move on Dora'' I looked at him angrily.

''How am I supposed too, I love you Remus and I always will'' I shouted, the tears finally falling.

''Please Tonks'' I shook my head.

''I miss you'' I whispered. He took me in his arms and held me.

''I miss you too Dora, and I love you, but you know we can't be together'' we could I wanted to say but I didn't. I pulled away and apparated to a point five minutes away from my apartment.

_And when you're gone  
>All the words I need to hear will always get me through<br>the day and make it ok  
>I miss you.<em>

I shut the door; my legs could no longer hold me. I slid down the door and cried.

'I miss you too and I love you' was all that I thought about; this just made it worse.

**So what do you think? Song by Avril Lavigne. **

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